Parenting and Sexuality
I realise the need to write a different blog: this blog is about Parenting and Sexuality.
There are two incidents that brought this on. First one is an arrest in Florida of two people who were apparently kissing and petting on a beach, and some people filmed it and called 911. Main reason for prosecution was that ‘’a 3 year old had witnessed it’’. If the couple was indeed having sex on the beach they should be arrested and fined. But if i were to have called 911 (is that really an emergency btw?) for all the times i have seen couples kissing and fondling on beaches around the world (something i do not like to see, and dissapprove of but deal with by looking elsewhere), then i would have been very busy, not to mention all the couples kissing and fondling in public parks all around the world. The couple in question are now registered ‘’sex offenders’’, and face a possible 10 year prison sentence and 5.000 dollar fines. Is this appropraite? As pointed out before they are misbehaving, and so should be arrested and fined, but these charges are totally unreasonable.
The second reason was an email sent to me by friends in the States. There was an uproar about the so called ‘’predatory sexual behavior’’ of a 3 year old boy! I repeat a 3 year old. Psychologists were involved, and Parents were upset. Now, as with the previous incident of the adults, i was not there, so i can only go by what i have been told. In this case the 3 year old was interested in genitalia and had touched those of other children. Now i do not know about you, but the phenomenon of ‘’playing dokter’’ is well known by Parents all over the world. Furthermore, as children everything is a sensory experience and there is no knowledge of sex per se. It is only when we enter puberty that sexuality is a fact. Prior to that, exceptions to the rule, children are innocent to sexuality, at least the first 3/4/5 years of their lives. Regrettably there are more and more incidents of children ages 6/7/8/who sexually abuse other children.
So, how are we as Parents to do deal with Sexuality and our Parenting. Recent research shows that more than 20% of Parents worldwide fail to give their children sexual education, in the most basic sense of the word, such as Parents have always done, tell their children about the ‘’birds and the bees’’.
So, coupled with the above examples, there seems to be a need for us as Parents to objectively deal with Sexuality and Parenting. It is important that we offer clear non-biased information. Mainstream media and the porn industry have warped the perception of human sexuality. The porn industry was and is the number one business online, and they have covered the entire internet. We need to be clear to our children about this reality and at the same time offer them a healthy (non pornographic) view on human sexuality. There are numerous tragic examples of children being blackmailed with nude photographs and/or video material. Children need to be informed that sexual predators are all over the internet, posing as children or teenagers.
Human sexuality and love are inextricably linked. It is what defines us as Human Beings, as opposed to animals. Love knows many expressions, and between consenting adults sexuality is a natural expression of their love. It is not per se related to marriage or child bearing. The above is ofcourse a very western point of view. Many eastern countries see sexuality as belonging only within the marraige of two heterosexual people. Most religions also view human sexuality in that matter. One problem there is that many organized religions have been-and are- regrettably often staffed by the worst sexual offenders and pepetrators, for the most part peadophile.It is obvious that Human Sexuality is a complex matter that needs to be adressed.
As with most Parenting matters, it is ofcourse up to each individual Parent to decide what it is that they want their Children to know about Human Sexuality. Just please do not ignore the topic just because you might be uncomfortable with it.
You can find more out about my parenting methodology in my book, Oops The Parenting Handbook.
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