Taking into consideration the enormous number of how-to books and the constant stream of experts telling us that everything can be learned, it is understandable that, as a parent, you go looking for tools. And this strengthens the thought that, as long as we learn enough skills, we will have what it takes to be a good parent. And here lies the problem.
Sure, many skills can be learned, but if you recall our discussion of a young baby you are dealing with a unique, unpredictable, and uncontrollable phenomenon.
Uncontrollable is used in the sense that there are no skills that can help you here as a baby or young child will simply mirror all of your traits, including your less attractive ones, your hang-ups, and your suppressed feelings. And this is because children are very impressionable, pure, and true to what they feel. So we will need a Parenting Methodology that works.
We also looked at the unconscious dynamics that tend to sneak into all family dynamics, whether you are a single mom or dad, a married couple, divorced, or have an extended family. There is only one way to develop skills and that is to be a good example of all those good qualities you wish to see in your child.
During the first years of life, your child will be learning only by observing you very closely, by sensing what you are feeling. He or she will then mirror and copy your behavior. So, if you do not like what it is that your baby is showing you, then take a good look in the mirror.
In fact, we all know that this mirroring and copying is how it works. Haven’t we all seen young and/or first-time parents especially enjoy sharing hilarious anecdotes about the bad or funny words and expressions that their young offspring have picked up (from them)? Of course, this can be hilarious as well as very endearing; however, you are missing the opportunity of a lifetime if you do not look past the funny side of this behavior.
You now have a unique chance to use this uncanny and accurate copycat behavior of your young children to teach them what it is that you feel they need for their development!
Regarding specific tools, there are a certain number of tools that you yourself can develop as well. In doing so, you will be transforming your self-knowledge and insights into a broad range of capacities.
My Vision of Parenting Methodology!
It is my vision and experience that you can place all your capacities and knowledge into two categories: love and law. I have developed this Parenting Methodology of Love and Law into practical workable models. All the success that you can imagine (and need) as a parent will be yours by applying these two principles and by developing the abilities that are related to this.
You can find more out about my parenting methodology in my book, Oops The Parenting Handbook.
If you would like a free coaching consultation with me click here to find my calendar.