As I have mentioned in previous blogs there are 3 main Parenting styles and in this blog I will talk a bit about these different styles and their effects.
Parenting Styles #1
- The parenting style that historically is most well known can be best described as Authoritarian Parenting. Does not sound too great does it?
It sure isn’t.
‘’I am the boss and I have little or no mercy’’ could be the best way to capture this horrible Parenting style, that was all too often used in the last one or two centuries.
‘’ Children should be seen but not heard’’, is another typical reflection of what was the essence of Authoritarian Parenting. It has the Parent as an absolute authority, with absolute power, and free to wield this power in any way that the Parent sees fit. Needless to say, that the child has little or nothing to say. Pretty stifling! Yep. Children tend to be quiet, and often become fearful, not to mention that it fosters bullies as the more strong headed ones start to display violent behavior towards siblings and friends. They are copying the all too often prevalent violence that is displayed by the Parents.
Parenting Styles #2
- Then we have Permissive Parenting. The 60’s saw an upsurge of this Parenting style, in line with a lot of the hippy ideals of that era, as well as it being a reaction to the often all too rigid 50’s and before. Live and let live right (?), we are all equal. Not!
Well, we are all equal and one, but we are not the same! There is unity and diversity. The ideal of Permissive Parenting is pretty much letting it all happen and not being strict or harsh about anything. Little or no boundaries, try what you like and you have all the knowledge inside of you so I can pretty much do what I want while you go hang around and do whatever it is you want to do! Feel free! Hmmm..really? Children are an authority as much as Parents are. In other words, Parents pretty much relinquish a lot of their authority. It makes children fearful and/or sloths as the lack of boundaries is most definitely perceived as unsafe. It also often leads to promiscuous behavior and substance abuse.
All too often we find a mix of these two parenting styles: Authoritarian and Permissive.
When you arbitrarily mix up these two styles you will get into trouble! For Children it is very confusing and frightening to watch one or both Parents alternate between these two styles. It will certainly make them rebel as teenagers!
Furthermore it totally undermines your credibility and your effectiveness as a Parent, so, please don’t do it!
Parenting Styles #3
- In order to be an effective and happy Parent, you are best off using the style called Authoritative Parenting. Sounds like Authoritarian but it is not. There is a huge difference in these two parenting styles.
As an Authoritative Parent you are fully conscious of your duties, obligations and power as a Parent. You have engaged your child(ren) as a valuable and highly valued team mate in the Parenting endeavor. Parents value the input of their children throughout as many aspects of their Parenting as possible. The children are regarded as individuals with their own innate wisdom, yet Parents are aware that they are in charge and need to function as good role models and guardians of their offspring. As children get older they are allowed more and more freedom as well as increased responsibilities as they prove they can handle them. Parents talk openly with their children yet always remain clear that they are in charge of their children.
Which parenting styles do you think work best? Please leave me a comment below. Share this post with someone who will get value from it.