Sexuality and Parenting

Sexuality is for many such a diffcult subject, – or even taboo- so i always hesitate before writing about it.


Yet, as Parents we must be willing to at least be aware of Teenagers and Sexuality, and ideally-open to the possibility of talking to your Children and Teenagers about sexuality.


All too often Sexuality is the proverbial elephant in the room, it can not be ignored or dismissed.


As i write this, i am reminded of so many contrasts reagrding this topic.

Yesterday a Father in the UAE let his daughter drown, i repeat a father let his daughter drown, because he prevented two men from rescuing her due to the fact that she would then some how be ”compromised”.

Well, i know, leaves you speechless right. What has happened to us, to make such insane decisions!?

I am rarely judgemental/critical like this, but i mean, this is so serious, so tragic, and rightly so, criminal charges have been put to this completely ignorant cruel heartless individual.


Let this be a reminder for all of us, to be open and aware of our prejudices, be they cultural, religious or spiritual in nature.

Sexuality is energy. All is energy. This is a matter of physics, of quantum mechanics, the latter even more interesting because it shows that the object changes depending on what we think it is that we see! Ha! So how can we know what we see when it comes to sexuality? All that we see is conditioning, our past, our knowledge, images allready stored in our minds.

As the saying goes: ” it is in the eye of the beholder”, and ” it is all in the mind”.


Some issues which come to mind:


An American mother contacting me because the mother’s of her 4 year old son’s friends have labelled this little boy a ”sexual predator”…

Asian client telling me how despite being in love for years he can never so much as kiss his beloved because of the parent’s objection and worry for their daughter, not to mention thet fact that they want a ”better candidate” for her. Heartbreaking.

Many European Parents allowing their 16/17 year old daughters or sons girlfriend/boyfriend to sleep over. Their reasoning: better under our own noses than in secret.

Statiscally more than one third of Western Parents do not talk to their Children/Teenagers about sexuality. In Asia the group is much larger.

I feel all Parents must talk about Sexuality with their Children.  I will tell you why: The worldwide trade in (Children) sex slaves.

  1. Globally, the average cost of a slave is $90.
  2. Trafficking primarily involves exploitation which comes in many forms, including: forcing victims into prostitution, subjecting victims to slavery or involuntary servitude and compelling victims to commit sex acts for the purpose of creating pornography.
  3. According to some estimates, approximately 80% of trafficking involves sexual exploitation, and 19% involves labor exploitation.
  4. There are approximately 20 to 30 million slaves in the world today.
  5. According to the U.S. State Department, 600,000 to 800,000 people are trafficked across international borders every year, of which 80% are female and half are children.

This means that there are about 24 million sex slaves, a vast number of these are children.

As Parents and educators you need to speak to your Children and Teenagers about reality!

It is a matter of common sense!


As i write in Oops! The Parenting Handbook Sexuality is a natural force in our lives, it is our opinions and ignorance about how we collectively look at it that creates most of the problems.



You can find more out about my parenting methodology in my book, Oops The Parenting Handbook.

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